purified virginity

A few weeks ago I got a phone call from one of my girlfriends announcing that she got a boyfriend. I asked her what she intended to say to him about how they will protect their purity. She continued to tell that they have already talked about it and that they are “taking things slow,” and he “values” her virginity just as much as she does. This got me to think about two things:

1. What does “taking it slow” mean?
2. What do people think is the difference between “purity” and “virginity”?

Couples all over the world will claim they are “taking it slow” but what does this really even mean? Does it mean the same thing to the both of them? Where do the physical boundaries start and end? Does “taking it slow” mean only kissing? And what kind of kissing? Kissing standing up is totally different and not nearly as stimulating as kissing each other while lying on the couch.

I think when many people today discuss protecting one’s purity, they confuse “purity” with “virginity.” The value is placed on whether or not one is a virgin, not if they have compromised any other part of their body or mind to maintain their virginity.

As a result, in many cases, one is technically physically still a virgin, but has compromised their body, mind, and heart to maintain their physical virginity. Consequently, failing to protect their purity. There is much more to living purely than abstaining from sexual intercourse. Purity is a life style. It is an everyday mode of being. Purity is not a choice. It is an instruction from God.

God created sex as something good. Genesis says He created it for us to enjoy and to reproduce, “to be fruitful and multiply.” This is why He has given us body parts that were specifically made for sexual pleasure and baby making. However, God reserved sexual intimacy for the marriage relationship, and it is approved and blessed by God only in this context. Sexual activity represents a deep and powerful level of intimacy and vulnerability. By God’s intention, the only relationship God designed to thrive on and sustain this level of intimacy, is a godly, devoted marriage between man and woman, husband and wife.

All physical intimacy between man and woman was created by God. Physical intimacy (holding hands, touching, sex, etc) is natural. Of course, it feels good. It is natural for a man and woman to want to further explore the nakedness of one another. It is natural to be stimulated or aroused by the sights, sounds, touch, or even smells of one another. I believe this is why it is so hard to live purely, because it is a constant fight against our flesh, of what is natural. However, we have to remember that purity is a sacred gift from God.

“Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun. And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And has given us this task of reconcilingpeople to him.”

(2 Corinthians 5:17-18)

When we surrender our hearts to Jesus we share in his glory with a renewed knowledge of God, a transformed way of thinking and behaving that begins to reflect God’s purity, His holiness, His spiritual wholeness.

So, what is the truth about sex and purity? God created sex; therefore, it is natural, but God gifted purity. Therefore, it is supernatural. The only reason we are called virgins is because we have not had sex, thus we have not progressed in the natural timeline of humanity. The only reason we call ourselves pure is because God called us pure. The definition of purity is to be morally clean without blemish. The only way we are morally clean without blemish is because of the blood of Jesus. Through Jesus’ perfect sacrifice on the Cross He calls us pure. Impurity is something that is unacceptable to God. Therefore, by logic, purity could be defined as something is acceptable to God.

So then, are you pure if you have never had sex? Not if you’ve been cheating the system in other ways. If purity was only based on sex, then after I got married I would no longer have to strive for a life of purity.

Sexual abstinence is good, but your purity is NOT defined by your abstinence. It goes all the way back to the heart of the matter. Before you were kissing, before you were holding hands, before you were flirting – What were your intentions? What were you thinking about? What was your flesh saying? What were your desires?

________

I never understood the value of my purity until I freely gave it away.

I compromised my body, my mind, and heart because I was more concerned about how it felt and what my boyfriend at the time would think of me if I said no. I always grew up with the desire that I would wait until my wedding night to have sex. After college, I started dating a man in my church. We never really discussed boundaries…I mean, why would we? He was a Christian. I was a Christian. No worries there, right? (Newsflash: Christians aren’t immune to temptation!) Discussing physical boundaries never took place until the heat of the moment when we potentially crossed lines. The temptation to further explore one another’s bodies was constant and the pressure was great.

In my mind, I always thought I would never do more than kissing before marriage. Just like all temptations, when we flirt with it for so long, it is only a matter of time before you do something you never thought you would do. I let him touch me in places that belonged to my husband. Lies of the Enemy bombarded my mind. I became more concerned with the question, “How far is too far?” rather than understanding what God meant by purity. We Christians love the already defeated game of, “How much can I get away with and still be a Christian?”

I was alone, ashamed and had no one to talk to. I was so confused because I still had my virginity. I grew up in the church and so many of the teachings on purity was about being a virgin for your husband. So, why was I so consumed with the shame and disappointment as if I had had sex? Even though I maintained my virginity, I gave away my purity. It was clear to me that my actions in that moment were not acceptable to God’s standards. When I chose to be impure, I butchered the gift of purity in which Jesus died for. I realized that if I did not value my purity, a gift God gave me, then did I really value what Jesus did for me on the Cross?

________

I learned a lot about the difference between purity and virginity during this season of my life. Purity is a way life, and my virginity is something I give. What mattered, was what I chose to do with what I now knew about the value of my purity.

I wondered a lot how my future husband and I would protect our purity before marriage, and if I really had the strength to fight it. This was when the Lord began challenging me with the idea to not kiss my boyfriend until he was committed to me enough to be my husband.

My first response to the Lord was, “Absolutely not. What kind of man would even want to be with me once I told him we cannot kiss?”

Then God said to me, “Danielle, are you willing? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to protect your purity, the purity of your future husband, and your purity as one?”

So I chose to take a huge leap of faith – I decided to wait until I was engaged to kiss my husband. (Let’s get things clear here before you go jumping to conclusions - I’m not saying kissing is a sin or that everyone has to wait until marriage. I’m simply telling you my story and how God chose to challenge me to trust Him more.) I made this commitment before my husband and I were even dating. The funny thing is that God was already dealing with my husband about waiting to kiss his future bride. When Rony and I chose to not kiss, God introduced us to so many new avenues of romance that I never knew even existed. It truly awakened something special.

The choice to protect my purity, a gift that God gave me, began in my mind and in my heart first. Sometimes we have to get to a point where we are willing to do whatever it takes to keep us from compromising.

So, I would ask you – Are you willing to do whatever it takes? Are you willing to destroy any DVDs, magazines, websites, etc. that keeps you tempted to pornography and hurts your marriage, or lack there of? Are you willing to stop talking to someone who continually causes you to lust? Are you willing to set physical boundaries with the person you are with, even though the world would say it is not normal?

Are you even willing to pray and listen to what God has to say to you about it or are you too afraid to even go there with Him??

Sometimes we must be willing to do whatever it takes to protect ourselves from falling into the sins of our biggest temptations. Purity is now!

-Danielle Renfrow

Sometimes Love...

Sometimes love can be quietAnd sometimes love can be still,
But always love is patient
And is a choice of our will

Sometimes love can be vibrant
Sometimes it's not easily felt,
But always love is eternal
And is never boastful or proud

Sometimes love can be tender
Then sometimes hard to express,
But always love is truthful
And believes in the very best

Sometimes love can be exciting
And love can sometimes be sweet
For love is always trusting
And chooses never to envy

Sometimes love can be painful
Then sometimes love's like a song,
But always love is forgiving
And keeps no record of wrongs

Sometimes love can be gentle
Then sometimes it's just a word,
But always love protects and hopes
And love is always preserved

Love is never self-seeking
And is never angered or rude
Love can never fail us,
For God's love is faithful and true.

Love Stays; Feelings Fade

We often don't feelLove each and every day,
Just the same it's there
And will never fade away

Just like the ocean tide
Coming in and going out,
At times our love's so strong
Other times is seldom felt

In those times of wondering
When love is placed in doubt,
We must only remember,
Our love has not run out

God in all His splendour
Knows just how we feel,
He knows true love goes deeper
Than our feelings that seem real

So don't be depending
On feelings everyday,
Love is always there,
But feelings fade away.

Explore, Dream, Discover

Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.

 The common question that gets asked in business is, ‘why?’ That’s a good question, but an equally valid question is, ‘why not?Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement. Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.  We become what we think about. 

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore, Dream, Discover.Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.  The mind is everything. What you think you become.  The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. An unexamined life is not worth living. 

Eighty percent of success is showing up. Don’t wait. The time will never be just right. Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.  I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions. Every child is an artist.  

The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.  You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.  Either you run the day, or the day runs you. Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. 

 The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.  Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. The best revenge is massive success. People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing.  That’s why we recommend it daily. Inspiration exists, but it must find you working. 

If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal. The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.  Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  Live the life you have imagined. 

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me. Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others.  Unsuccessful people are always asking, “What’s in it for me?” 

Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart.  Believe you can and you’re halfway there. Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear. We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. Start where you are. Use what you have.  Do what you can. 

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life.  When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I wrote down ‘happy’.  They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. Fall seven times and stand up eight.  

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.  Everything has beauty, but not everyone can see. How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. 

radi concepts.....

THE SCENT OF A PRODIGY II

The CHRISTIAN is not called to SELF DENIAL (because the New SELF is the New Creation,he denied the OLD SELF the day he became BORN AGAIN).

The UNBELIEVER is called to SELF DENIAL (because he spends all his life time trying to SELF MANAGE the OLD SINFUL NATURE (THE OLD SELF) which must be given up for a NEW SELF; ONE which is NOT SUBJECTED TO THE POWER OF SIN).

So here is the Call to THE BELIEVER, ''To UNDERSTAND the NEW SELF in Christ, to TRAIN and DEVELOP the NEW SELF in discipline by the Fellowship of the HOLY SPIRIT & to EMBRACE the LORDSHIP of THE WORD, to the end-- THE EXPRESSION of the Glory of the NEW SELF.

The Christian is not called to SELF DENIAL, he/she is called to the glory of SELF EXPRESSION in CHRIST. Until the paradigm is aligned this way, many believers will never grow beyond the milk of the Word. We are called to be the EXPRESSION of HIS IMAGE. God wants the gift of His Glory in you to fill the world for all men to see the beauty of His New Creation! Go EXPRESS yourself in Christ!!!...GO!  Let your Scent fill the Earth! 

BY 
Eric Kwaku Edem Damanka

GOD DEY!

My Dad of blessed memory taught me a lesson once when i was quite young. I remember I had to replace the batteries in a TV remote control and I fixed the batteries facing the wrong sides. So obviously it did not work. My father noticed this and instead of correcting it himself here reprimanded me for acting ignorant. He said if you want to do something then do it well or don’t do it at all. Because in the battery slot was clearly inscribed the positive and negative signs. If I had taken the time to read I would have noted my mistake. I learnt that day that most of the time you have no excuses for ignorance or for doing something halfheartedly. I thank him for that valuable lesson early on.

But as you grow up you realize also that life is not all black and white. It is not always positive and negative signs.There are shades of grey in between and as brutal as life can be you learn from the experiences that come your way. It is really up to you to turn your test into a testament.

I have had the unfortunate non-privilege of being taught some hard life lessons in my lifetime and most especially in the past month. I have been made to feel I am not good enough at times or that I am not as efficient as I thought I was. I have felt at times like giving up because I am just not up to scratch. I have fixed my batteries the wrong side in and have cried knowing that my daddy would have disapproved. I have lain in bed wondering why I bother at all. I have lain in bed asking questions with no answers and in my moments of bitterness I have thought up plans worthy of a Hollywood movie. All this is just melodrama really when you step back and really think of it. But in my moments of darkness I have thought again of my daddy. He had been through much worse in his life and been hurt by the very people he so cherished. Yet never a day did I see him turn anyone away from our house. Never did he refuse a helping hand to those who caused him pain. He always rose above the occasion.

We say we are Christians yet when we are presented with opportunities to walk the talk we panic and we run. 

How else can you show the fruits of the spirit in you if you are not tested. How else can you say you have love if you cannot show love to your detractors? How else can you show joy and gentleness if you cannot let go of a pain so deep. How can you have peace if you cannot let God reign in all your affairs and just stay calm knowing indeed he is God? But talking is cheap. Acting is harder. I am human and I admit that I am struggling each day. I am struggling to shine in the midst of my darkness. I am struggling not to let fear envelope my heart and rather to let go and believe that God has got my back. Like I said talking is cheap for We Christians. I pray my daddy has peace and rest and I pray I can teach even half of the lessons he taught me to my children and other generations. But I also pray I learn my own life lessons and I come out victorious at the end knowing that indeed I walked the talk. To be honest one of the lessons you learn is to be more careful of people around you. Do not push them away or direct your anger towards them. But learn to draw a clear line and trust in God to watch your back.

I pray today for everyone hurting and in a less than desirous situation. That is life and some of these happen.  Am holding on believing God is going to come through for me and so should you. Let’s make a promise to each other to believe and have faith. We have no other choice but to do so. Because quite frankly experience or no experience, ignorance or knowledge, positive or negative signs, we can never match up to the infinite love and knowledge of the most high. May he lead and fight our battles for us. Remember no matter how dark the night may be......the dawn shall surely break bringing with it a new day. Once there is life there is hope.

Ps// everyone needs help once a while. its good to have a trusted network of friends and family to get you through tough times. God placed them in your life for a purpose.

Philippians 4:6-8

New Living Translation (NLT)

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

By Sharlon Owusu 

If she agrees to cut the crap, Still WALK.

I seriously don't understand why anyone would ask me for relationship advice, but every now and then an innocent soul comes along, it never ceases to amaze me. how do i spell this out. Ok! check this out, am sure you're telling yourself "Johnny has an angle to what he's about to say, he's gonna say something ‪#‎SPIRITUAL‬, but i wont. he's gonna give me closure and tell me all is well, but seriously i wont. What am about to tell you, you won't like it, it might anger you, it is not #SPIRITUAL, but it's scriptural. Its going to be a "SEMI-LONG" post so bear with me.

A young guy walks up to me, seeing am so "#SPIRITUAL", and full of wisdom, and intelligence, and every good spice. He's having troubles in his relationship, the girl is giving him a hard time, she materialistic, mummy's girl, a diva, nearly feminist and seemingly "#SPIRITUAL, "how bad can one guy have it".

-- I Told you it will be semi-long --

So he looks up to me waiting for an answer, i'm trying to hide all the insults in my head, but am sure he see hope in my eyes, not my fault though God gave me beautiful eyes. Anyway so i tell him what any guy in his right mind will tell him considering his situation, the problem is this guy ‪#‎LOVES‬ this girl more than life, he apparently convinced himself this is the only girl for him, *sad *sad, just *sad. Lets look at the statistics:

1.Ratio of men to women, 1:6..."need i say more".
2.99% of the time your so called first love is you feeding yourself with rubbish.

-- I Told you this is not Spiritual --

At this point the guy is almost in tears, no no no! i don't comfort him. Not my style. So i do what any good guy will do, i give him three pearls.

1. Tell her to cut the crap, or u ‪#‎WALK‬.
2. If she agrees to cut the crap, Still #WALK.
3.#WALK no matter what, #WALK.

But you guess right, he doesn't listen to me. He claims he's in ‪#‎LOVE‬, so i let him be. Couple of months later he's back, his heart torn to shreds, put on an altar [not sacrificed, that will be mercy, no] beat to death. At this point you don't wanna know the insults i rained on him, very very bad. But it was all done in Love.

Let me quote a friend of mine, when i was going through my storm. "Sometimes when God is trying to tear you away from someone, dont be so bent on keeping it glued"

"Two cannot walk, unless they agree..."

-- I Told you it was Scriptural --

By Tawiah Dolphyne

"Jesus Take The Wheel"

"Jesus Take The Wheel"

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati

On a snow white Christmas Eve

Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat

Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline

It'd been a long hard year

She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention

She was going way too fast

Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass

She saw both their lives flash before her eyes

She didn't even have time to cry

She was so scared

She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I'm on

Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder

And the car came to a stop

She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock

And for the first time in a long time

She bowed her head to pray

She said I'm sorry for the way

I've been living my life

I know I've got to change

So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I'm on

Oh, Jesus take the wheel

Oh, I'm letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I'm on

From this road I'm on

Jesus take the wheel

Oh, take it, take it from me.

Oh, wow, ohhhhh. 

CARRIE UNDERWOOD Lyrics

it's in the valleys i grow

Sometimes life seems hard to bear,
Full of sorrow, trouble and woe
It's then I have to remember
That it's in the valleys I grow.

If I always stayed on the mountain top

And never experienced pain,
I would never appreciate God's love
And would be living in vain.

I have so much to learn
And my growth is very slow,
Sometimes I need the mountain tops,
But it's in the valleys I grow.

I do not always understand
Why things happen as they do,
But I am very sure of one thing.
My Lord will see me through.

My little valleys are nothing
When I picture Christ on the cross
He went through the valley of death;
His victory was Satan's loss.

Forgive me Lord, for complaining
When I'm feeling so very low.
Just give me a gentle reminder
That it's in the valleys I grow.

Continue to strengthen me, Lord
And use my life each day
To share your love with others
And help them find their way.

Thank you for valleys, Lord
For this one thing I know
The mountain tops are glorious
But it's in the valleys I grow!

don't forget to smile

A little girl walked to and from school daily. Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trek to the elementary school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school and she herself feared that the electrical storm might harm her child.

Following the roar of thunder, lightning, like a flaming sword, would cut through the sky. Full of concern, the mother quickly got into her car and drove along the route to her child’s school. As she did so, she saw her little girl walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up and smile. Another and another were to follow quickly and with each the little girl would look at the streak of light and smile.

When the mother’s car drove up beside the child she lowered the window and called to her.

“What are you doing? Why do you keep stopping?”

The child answered, “I am trying to look pretty, God keeps taking my picture.”

May God bless you today as you face the storms that come your way.