purified virginity

A few weeks ago I got a phone call from one of my girlfriends announcing that she got a boyfriend. I asked her what she intended to say to him about how they will protect their purity. She continued to tell that they have already talked about it and that they are “taking things slow,” and he “values” her virginity just as much as she does. This got me to think about two things:

1. What does “taking it slow” mean?
2. What do people think is the difference between “purity” and “virginity”?

Couples all over the world will claim they are “taking it slow” but what does this really even mean? Does it mean the same thing to the both of them? Where do the physical boundaries start and end? Does “taking it slow” mean only kissing? And what kind of kissing? Kissing standing up is totally different and not nearly as stimulating as kissing each other while lying on the couch.

I think when many people today discuss protecting one’s purity, they confuse “purity” with “virginity.” The value is placed on whether or not one is a virgin, not if they have compromised any other part of their body or mind to maintain their virginity.

As a result, in many cases, one is technically physically still a virgin, but has compromised their body, mind, and heart to maintain their physical virginity. Consequently, failing to protect their purity. There is much more to living purely than abstaining from sexual intercourse. Purity is a life style. It is an everyday mode of being. Purity is not a choice. It is an instruction from God.

God created sex as something good. Genesis says He created it for us to enjoy and to reproduce, “to be fruitful and multiply.” This is why He has given us body parts that were specifically made for sexual pleasure and baby making. However, God reserved sexual intimacy for the marriage relationship, and it is approved and blessed by God only in this context. Sexual activity represents a deep and powerful level of intimacy and vulnerability. By God’s intention, the only relationship God designed to thrive on and sustain this level of intimacy, is a godly, devoted marriage between man and woman, husband and wife.

All physical intimacy between man and woman was created by God. Physical intimacy (holding hands, touching, sex, etc) is natural. Of course, it feels good. It is natural for a man and woman to want to further explore the nakedness of one another. It is natural to be stimulated or aroused by the sights, sounds, touch, or even smells of one another. I believe this is why it is so hard to live purely, because it is a constant fight against our flesh, of what is natural. However, we have to remember that purity is a sacred gift from God.

“Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun. And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And has given us this task of reconcilingpeople to him.”

(2 Corinthians 5:17-18)

When we surrender our hearts to Jesus we share in his glory with a renewed knowledge of God, a transformed way of thinking and behaving that begins to reflect God’s purity, His holiness, His spiritual wholeness.

So, what is the truth about sex and purity? God created sex; therefore, it is natural, but God gifted purity. Therefore, it is supernatural. The only reason we are called virgins is because we have not had sex, thus we have not progressed in the natural timeline of humanity. The only reason we call ourselves pure is because God called us pure. The definition of purity is to be morally clean without blemish. The only way we are morally clean without blemish is because of the blood of Jesus. Through Jesus’ perfect sacrifice on the Cross He calls us pure. Impurity is something that is unacceptable to God. Therefore, by logic, purity could be defined as something is acceptable to God.

So then, are you pure if you have never had sex? Not if you’ve been cheating the system in other ways. If purity was only based on sex, then after I got married I would no longer have to strive for a life of purity.

Sexual abstinence is good, but your purity is NOT defined by your abstinence. It goes all the way back to the heart of the matter. Before you were kissing, before you were holding hands, before you were flirting – What were your intentions? What were you thinking about? What was your flesh saying? What were your desires?

________

I never understood the value of my purity until I freely gave it away.

I compromised my body, my mind, and heart because I was more concerned about how it felt and what my boyfriend at the time would think of me if I said no. I always grew up with the desire that I would wait until my wedding night to have sex. After college, I started dating a man in my church. We never really discussed boundaries…I mean, why would we? He was a Christian. I was a Christian. No worries there, right? (Newsflash: Christians aren’t immune to temptation!) Discussing physical boundaries never took place until the heat of the moment when we potentially crossed lines. The temptation to further explore one another’s bodies was constant and the pressure was great.

In my mind, I always thought I would never do more than kissing before marriage. Just like all temptations, when we flirt with it for so long, it is only a matter of time before you do something you never thought you would do. I let him touch me in places that belonged to my husband. Lies of the Enemy bombarded my mind. I became more concerned with the question, “How far is too far?” rather than understanding what God meant by purity. We Christians love the already defeated game of, “How much can I get away with and still be a Christian?”

I was alone, ashamed and had no one to talk to. I was so confused because I still had my virginity. I grew up in the church and so many of the teachings on purity was about being a virgin for your husband. So, why was I so consumed with the shame and disappointment as if I had had sex? Even though I maintained my virginity, I gave away my purity. It was clear to me that my actions in that moment were not acceptable to God’s standards. When I chose to be impure, I butchered the gift of purity in which Jesus died for. I realized that if I did not value my purity, a gift God gave me, then did I really value what Jesus did for me on the Cross?

________

I learned a lot about the difference between purity and virginity during this season of my life. Purity is a way life, and my virginity is something I give. What mattered, was what I chose to do with what I now knew about the value of my purity.

I wondered a lot how my future husband and I would protect our purity before marriage, and if I really had the strength to fight it. This was when the Lord began challenging me with the idea to not kiss my boyfriend until he was committed to me enough to be my husband.

My first response to the Lord was, “Absolutely not. What kind of man would even want to be with me once I told him we cannot kiss?”

Then God said to me, “Danielle, are you willing? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to protect your purity, the purity of your future husband, and your purity as one?”

So I chose to take a huge leap of faith – I decided to wait until I was engaged to kiss my husband. (Let’s get things clear here before you go jumping to conclusions - I’m not saying kissing is a sin or that everyone has to wait until marriage. I’m simply telling you my story and how God chose to challenge me to trust Him more.) I made this commitment before my husband and I were even dating. The funny thing is that God was already dealing with my husband about waiting to kiss his future bride. When Rony and I chose to not kiss, God introduced us to so many new avenues of romance that I never knew even existed. It truly awakened something special.

The choice to protect my purity, a gift that God gave me, began in my mind and in my heart first. Sometimes we have to get to a point where we are willing to do whatever it takes to keep us from compromising.

So, I would ask you – Are you willing to do whatever it takes? Are you willing to destroy any DVDs, magazines, websites, etc. that keeps you tempted to pornography and hurts your marriage, or lack there of? Are you willing to stop talking to someone who continually causes you to lust? Are you willing to set physical boundaries with the person you are with, even though the world would say it is not normal?

Are you even willing to pray and listen to what God has to say to you about it or are you too afraid to even go there with Him??

Sometimes we must be willing to do whatever it takes to protect ourselves from falling into the sins of our biggest temptations. Purity is now!

-Danielle Renfrow

Sometimes Love...

Sometimes love can be quietAnd sometimes love can be still,
But always love is patient
And is a choice of our will

Sometimes love can be vibrant
Sometimes it's not easily felt,
But always love is eternal
And is never boastful or proud

Sometimes love can be tender
Then sometimes hard to express,
But always love is truthful
And believes in the very best

Sometimes love can be exciting
And love can sometimes be sweet
For love is always trusting
And chooses never to envy

Sometimes love can be painful
Then sometimes love's like a song,
But always love is forgiving
And keeps no record of wrongs

Sometimes love can be gentle
Then sometimes it's just a word,
But always love protects and hopes
And love is always preserved

Love is never self-seeking
And is never angered or rude
Love can never fail us,
For God's love is faithful and true.

Love Stays; Feelings Fade

We often don't feelLove each and every day,
Just the same it's there
And will never fade away

Just like the ocean tide
Coming in and going out,
At times our love's so strong
Other times is seldom felt

In those times of wondering
When love is placed in doubt,
We must only remember,
Our love has not run out

God in all His splendour
Knows just how we feel,
He knows true love goes deeper
Than our feelings that seem real

So don't be depending
On feelings everyday,
Love is always there,
But feelings fade away.

Explore, Dream, Discover

Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.

 The common question that gets asked in business is, ‘why?’ That’s a good question, but an equally valid question is, ‘why not?Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement. Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.  We become what we think about. 

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore, Dream, Discover.Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.  The mind is everything. What you think you become.  The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. An unexamined life is not worth living. 

Eighty percent of success is showing up. Don’t wait. The time will never be just right. Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.  I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions. Every child is an artist.  

The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.  You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.  Either you run the day, or the day runs you. Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. 

 The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.  Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. The best revenge is massive success. People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing.  That’s why we recommend it daily. Inspiration exists, but it must find you working. 

If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal. The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.  Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  Live the life you have imagined. 

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me. Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others.  Unsuccessful people are always asking, “What’s in it for me?” 

Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart.  Believe you can and you’re halfway there. Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear. We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. Start where you are. Use what you have.  Do what you can. 

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life.  When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I wrote down ‘happy’.  They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. Fall seven times and stand up eight.  

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.  Everything has beauty, but not everyone can see. How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. 

radi concepts.....

THE SCENT OF A PRODIGY II

The CHRISTIAN is not called to SELF DENIAL (because the New SELF is the New Creation,he denied the OLD SELF the day he became BORN AGAIN).

The UNBELIEVER is called to SELF DENIAL (because he spends all his life time trying to SELF MANAGE the OLD SINFUL NATURE (THE OLD SELF) which must be given up for a NEW SELF; ONE which is NOT SUBJECTED TO THE POWER OF SIN).

So here is the Call to THE BELIEVER, ''To UNDERSTAND the NEW SELF in Christ, to TRAIN and DEVELOP the NEW SELF in discipline by the Fellowship of the HOLY SPIRIT & to EMBRACE the LORDSHIP of THE WORD, to the end-- THE EXPRESSION of the Glory of the NEW SELF.

The Christian is not called to SELF DENIAL, he/she is called to the glory of SELF EXPRESSION in CHRIST. Until the paradigm is aligned this way, many believers will never grow beyond the milk of the Word. We are called to be the EXPRESSION of HIS IMAGE. God wants the gift of His Glory in you to fill the world for all men to see the beauty of His New Creation! Go EXPRESS yourself in Christ!!!...GO!  Let your Scent fill the Earth! 

BY 
Eric Kwaku Edem Damanka