Prevailing Faith!

                                                                                                 source: pastorchrisonline.org

“So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17)

A striking thought to observe in our opening verse is that it tells us how faith comes; it’s by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God. Notice it didn’t say “faith cometh by having heard the Word”; but by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.” The emphasis is on “hearing,” that is, the continued bombardment of your spirit with the Word of God. That’s what produces prevailing faith, the faith that always works.

Faith always works! If it didn’t work, it wasn’t faith. For your faith to prevail all the time, you need to feed on the Word. You need to keep bombarding your spirit with the Word until it literally oozes out of your entire being! That’s how to grow prevailing faith; you have to get the Word into your system so much that you can only think, talk and live the Word!

Dont quit

Dont Quit

Healing Emotional Wounds

One day when I was still a small child, I noticed a tiny bruise on my thy. I took it for granted thus did not treat it at all. Before very long it festered and grew up to be a big wound which inflicted so much of pain upon treatment.

You can never escape physical wounds neither emotional wounds. Humans are emotional beings and it’s not a silly feeling to have emotional hurts. Research says emotional hurts we experience in our childhood has a lot to do with our present way of dealing with others, our self esteem, marriage life and many other areas. Just becoming a Christian cannot heal your emotional wounds, but you have to deal with it and allow God to help. This is called inner healing.

Some people go to psychiatrics, counselors and other professionals in search of emotional healing. But do you know that Jesus died for you so that your emotional wounds will be healed? Let us see the influence of unhealthy emotions and how you can look up to Jesus for help?

1.Unhealthy emotions cause serious damage to any person

I know a very skilled English Teacher who was sacked from the school due to a complaint made by parents. This lady had physically abused a child by beating him. It did not stop there. She became a private tutor and abused all the small children who came to her. She was used to hate girls. Later we learned of her past which made her to be the person that she is today.

Her father whom she loved most died while she was a teenager. Mother never loved her, very soon started dating another guy. It was too late when they found out the teenage daughter is pregnant because of her mother’s boyfriend. She gave birth to a baby boy. They managed to keep it as a secret, but this woman lost her self esteem, confidence and faith in God.

2. Unhealthy emotions are roots of suicide

Sri Lanka has a very high suicide record. Research has found many people think of suicide as a way out of hurt and shame. This could happen because of an unfaithful husband, a broken love relationship etc. Suicide doesn’t take your shame away, it rather exhibits.

Wounds of defeat and shame were inflicted on King Saul by the Philistines in the battle of Gilboa. He took his own life to overcome the shame and the pain of loosing his self image. Suicide did not remove his shame; instead the Philistines hung his body to cause more disgrace and shame (1 Samuel 31:1-13). Failure is not the end. You need not continue in the pain of wounds and shame from failure.

3. Unhealthy emotions trigger revenge

This is what happened to  Lamech in Genesis 4:23. Revenge does not ease your pain. It rather makes it more painful.

4. Unhealthy emotions cause physical illness

A true story is told about a couple who lost their only child because of a young drunkard driver. The young man who honestly repented for his sin and later on became a born again Christian. But the father somehow got the boy behind bars, thinking revenge will bring him peace of mind. It didn’t and this went on for years until the doctors found that he has a cancer. The prayers prayed asking for heeling were not answered. One day some one prophesied that God has already healed him but an unforgiving feeling  is hindering the process. He reconciled to the young man that killed his daughter and the cancer miraculously disappeared.

Conclusion and application

How to experience Jesus’ power over my troubled emotions?

5. Let Jesus to heal your wounds

‘He was wounded for our transgression’ (Isaiah 53:5)

Jesus died on the so that our emotions will have access to healing as well as our physical bodies. The pain is so hard to bear as it is caused by people whom we love and trust most. Jesus knows how you feel? He was betrayed, rejected, denied, deserted and murdered by his own people-People whom He loved so much.

He came to what was his own, but his own people did not receive him. John 1:11

Jesus was crucified and put to death. But He lives forever for God raised Him from the death. Therefore come to the savior and confess your hurts. Simply believe  and ask Jesus to help you to quit being a victim and forgive the people that hurt you.

6. Let the time to do it’s job

Remember, as if any physical wound takes time to heal, emotional hurts need time too. Some times healing is a long process. Patiently wait upon the Lord and his love.

7. Forgive those who have hurt you

The healing power and love of Jesus can heal you completely, unless you let the spirit of un-forgiveness to stand on the way. A spirit of un-forgiveness is an open invitation to the Devil to come in and manipulate your pain for his own advantage. To forgive means to forget. Jesus said

‘Father, please forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing’ (Luke 23:34)

Forgiving is the first step of the long process called healing. Fail to forgive and you will not be healed. Joseph was harassed by his brothers as a teenager. Later after he became the governor he had 2 choices. To revenge his brothers or to forgive them for their wrong doing. Joseph chose the latter. (Genesis 37:17; Genesis 45:3; Genesis 45:4-5)

8. Seek counseling from godly people

Sometimes in addition to praying and forgiving confessing our secrets becomes necessary. Sharing your hurt with a trustworthy person and receiving godly counseling restores your soul.

CREDIT : THE VIRTUAL PREACHER

Emotional affairs

When you have a relationship with the opposite sex that involves you doing virtually everything you do with your spouse or should do with your spouse minus a sexual act being involved,just know that you have become emotionally involved with that individual. 

Your spouse might know about the person but your spouse doesn't know about the extent of the relationship, and the details of what transpires between you and the person is kept as a secret from your spouse and every other person around you. 

Emotional affairs most times will lead to the real affairs where sexual activities takes place. It will be good for you to watch out for the signs so that you can nip it in the bud and not let it sink your marriage.

Some of the signs include a growing fondness in the heart for the individual usually more than you're presently feeling for your spouse. Most times,your expectations to see or talk to this individual overshadows the one you're presently feeling for your spouse.

Whatever the case may be,seek to do away with affairs in your marriage.

Credit :Marriage Is Beautiful and Sacred!

          -- Kalu Igwe

God dey....... its in the valleys i grow

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel bothAnd be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

Robert Frost

Weekend Glory...... (Maya Angelou)

Some clichty folks
don't know the facts,posin' and preenin'
and puttin' on acts,
stretchin' their backs.

They move into condos
up over the ranks,
pawn their souls
to the local banks.
Buying big cars
they can't afford,
ridin' around town
actin' bored.

If they want to learn how to live life right
they ought to study me on Saturday night.

My job at the plant
ain't the biggest bet,
but I pay my bills
and stay out of debt.
I get my hair done
for my own self's sake,
so I don't have to pick
and I don't have to rake.

Take the church money out
and head cross town
to my friend girl's house
where we plan our round.
We meet our men and go to a joint
where the music is blue
and to the point.

Folks write about me.
They just can't see
how I work all week
at the factory.
Then get spruced up
and laugh and dance
And turn away from worry
with sassy glance.

They accuse me of livin'
from day to day,
but who are they kiddin'?
So are they.

My life ain't heaven
but it sure ain't hell.
I'm not on top
but I call it swell
if I'm able to work
and get paid right
and have the luck to be Black
on a Saturday night. 

Maya Angelou

The "Tentmakers": (Part 1).

 You and Your Skills 

The Apostle Paul had a remarkable revelation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and accounts for nearly two thirds of the New Testament. He is by far my favourite bible character, after The Lord Jesus Himself..... I just love Paul!!! Paul had remarkable intellect, and was passionate about reading and learning. He was one of the most educated men, in his day. Just his writing style alone, has had more influence on the structure of language, than any man in history.

He was passionate about evangelism, and traveled through many parts of Europe and Asia, on foot! He was a man of boundless energy!

He was also a very successful entrepreneur! He even entered into joint ventures, with business partners. He made a lot of money, and although he received money from partners, who wanted to help him in his missionary trips, he never needed "aid or support from anyone". He graciously received the money, because he knew it would bless those who gave him the money.

Through Paul, we learn that God's concern is not that we have money,but rather how we make the money, and how we use it. Paul and his colleagues worked hard, made money, and used it to mount missionary trips, plant churches, and give to the poor; they kept nothing for themselves, and did not care for the trappings of wealth themselves. They did not beg anyone,or demand anything from anyone; they were as he put it, "self sufficient, and requiring no aid from anyone. And fully able to meet any need that confronted them." They saw the "love" of money, as evil, and not money, as evil.

Paul was a highly skilled professional man, and his skills were highly sought after. He was just like some of you, who might be computer programmers, architects, engineers, technicians, or farmers.

Where did I learn all this, you might ask? It is all right there in the bible; I do not use any other source other than the bible itself; and I do not read commentaries, about the bible.

The life of Paul as shown in the scriptures, shows us that even if you see yourself, as highly educated, it is important to always see your education, in terms of how it translates into skills; this is because to put food on the table, to send children to school, to be able to help those in need, to be able to partner in the work of ministry; we need to be PAID for our skills. We are paid for our skills, even if those skills derive from education.

In the next few posts, I intend to examine the issue of skills, and skills development.

Are you a "Tentmaker"?

To be continued...

by Strive Masiyiwa

A Love That Won't Let Go

It was moving day for my pastor husband and me. Our bishop had appointed us to a different church and we were excited about the possibilities that a change usually brings. We had all of the furniture and boxes moved in, but we were too exhausted to unpack or set up beds. We ventured out into our new community to find a hardware store for a couple of items and a restaurant to get some dinner. We arrived back home about 7:00 p.m., and ten minutes later the phone rang.

I answered it. It was our son, Bryon. He asked if his dad was there. When I said that he was, Bryon said to put him on the phone too because he had some really bad news. I said, “What is it?” I could tell from the sound of his voice that something was terribly wrong. He said, “Get Dad!”

I ran outside to get my husband. When we were both on the phone, our life was irretrievably shattered when Bryon said, “Craig’s dead.”

My knees buckled. I struggled to breathe.

On the same day we moved to a new parish, our eighteen-year-old son, Craig, had died in a car accident.

This tragedy completely devastated my life. It consumed me physically, mentally, and spiritually to the point that I couldn’t function. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t remember, I couldn’t eat, and I couldn’t sleep for months. Nothing mattered to me. Nothing. I couldn’t bear the memories of the past and I couldn’t imagine a meaningful future without Craig. I was in so much pain that I didn’t want to continue living.

My mind kept racing to make some sense out of what had happened. I craved even five minutes when my mind would turn off. There had to be a reason. I had to find the answer to why this happened to Craig and our family. Who or what was to blame? I felt that since we were in ministry, we would somehow be immune to this kind of tragedy. How could God allow this to happen to us?

I doubted everything I thought was true about God. I even doubted the very existence of God, much less a loving God. Spiritually, I felt completely alone and abandoned by God. All meaning for life was gone. I was terrified of losing my faith. I knew that I couldn’t fake what I believed. God would know my heart and I was afraid that I might never see Craig again. I felt that prayer had let me down.

Every time I closed my eyes I saw a big hole that I knew had no bottom. The edges around it were slippery and wet and I was terrified that I would fall into the darkness forever. It was a very real possibility that the darkness of grief and doubt could have totally consumed me. I grew very weary of trying to stay out of that hole!

In the depths of that despair, I kept thinking if there is a God, and if that God loves me, how could He do this to me? How could He take my son from me? I thought, “A loving God wouldn’t do this to me.”

God said, “Exactly!”
I questioned, “Exactly?”
He wouldn’t explain.

I was afraid to read my Bible or pray. I thought I might find out that it was my fault. Besides, I didn’t see any use in it since God had abandoned me. I felt vulnerable and I feared that my other children were in danger. The physical pain was unbearable. The mental and spiritual anguish made me think I was going crazy.

I knew many people were praying for me. Thanks to those prayers, God began to reveal Himself to me in enough ways that I did begin to read my Bible and pray, even though I felt like it was futile.

I was so confused. Does God exist? That was the question that terrified me. Without God, I had no meaning to my life. Without God, Craig was not in a place called heaven and lost forever, and I would never see him again.

For some reason, I continued to search the Scriptures for answers. God began revealing His truth to me. What has happened to me is nothing short of a miracle – a beautiful and undeniable miracle.

The fourteenth chapter of Matthew especially spoke to me. John the Baptist had been beheaded in prison. John was dear to Jesus, and when He heard it, He went to a deserted place by Himself. I read this story many times. In my grief, I realized that Jesus wanted to be alone with God to grieve. Jesus needed comfort from His Father. Maybe He, too, had some questions. Later, Jesus sent His disciples ahead of Him by boat to the other side of the sea. He then retreated a second time to a solitary place to pray.

When Jesus finished, He walked on the water to the disciples’ boat. The disciples thought He was a ghost. A storm had taken them many furlongs out to sea and they were frightened from the winds and chaos surrounding them. They didn’t expect Jesus to come to them in the midst of a storm, especially on foot in the middle of the sea. They didn’t know it was possible.

Jesus then said to the disciples, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.” Peter still wasn’t convinced. He asked Jesus, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” Jesus told Peter to come. Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water. The same miraculous power that allowed Jesus to walk on the water was available to Peter. Peter just had to believe in that power and trust that Jesus was who He said He was.

Peter allowed doubt and fear to overtake him and he sank into the water. He then cried out for Jesus to save him. Immediately, Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him. Once back to the boat, He said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Then the wind ceased.

I used to read that as a rebuke. Now I read it as an assurance. Jesus is saying, “You can trust Me. I AM. I’m all you need. Haven’t I proven that to you? Whatever storm you face, you can come to Me. I will walk on water if necessary to come to you. I will calm the storm and give you peace.”

Jesus could have let Peter’s doubt and unbelief take his life. He could have said, “I’m sorry Peter you got out of the boat and then lost your faith in Me. Now you must sink.” Jesus didn’t let him go.

When doubt and unbelief tried to overpower my faith, Jesus came to me. It had to be Jesus. I could not have survived the loss of my son without the miraculous power of Jesus’ presence in my life. I have a peace that surpasses my understanding. Six months before Craig died we had a conversation where he said to me, “Mom, if nothing bad ever happens to you, you don’t need any faith.”

I need to trust God with a child-like faith. I need to trust Him with a faith that doesn’t have all the answers, but still has the assurance that God can be trusted to be just and loving.

I have a mental image of Jesus carrying me kicking, screaming, and beating Him on the chest while I’m insisting that He let me go. I became so weary that I just couldn’t fight anymore and I became limp and lifeless. I appeared completely defeated. With the eyes of my heart opened by God Himself, I saw what I now know is the character of God in Jesus’ face. When I looked at Jesus’ face, tears were streaming down. They weren’t tears shed for me as in “pity.” They were tears shed with me as in “grace.” An overwhelming assurance of God’s love surrounded me then and holds me now.

My heart still aches and longs to see Craig again. I think about him often and miss him. But I have learned to trust God to love both of us with a love that knows no boundaries. God loves me with a love that came to me in my storm and with a love that won’t let go.

(credit:  Elaine Howlett)

LOVE..... LOVE..... LOVE

Love ....... Love .......... Love
We all need A Bit MORE.

If you thought LOVE was just an emotion.......
(He loves me... He loves me not... He loves me...... He loves me not)


Think again..
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love does not envy
Love is not proud or rude
Love is not self seeking
or easily angered

Love does not keep record of wrong
Love does not delight in Evil but always Rejoice with the truth
It always Trusts
Always Hopes
It always Perseveres.....

Seems like loving is A LOT  of hard work.

Love is just a word 
until someone gives it a meaning..

"But GOD showed His great Love for us 
by sending  Christ to die for us while we were 
still sinners. Rom 5:8"

GRASP IT , LIVE IT, SHARE IT

if you have not yet received Christ as your Lord and personal saviour you can pray this prayer to receive your salvation package made available by Christ Jesus...

Salvation is a gift from God that will enable you to spend eternity in Heaven. To receive this gift, you need to accept Christ into your life, repent of your sins and begin living a life that is pleasing to God. If you feel you have done too many bad things for God to forgive you, you are wrong. Whether you are old or young, rich or poor, a liar, a thief, an adulterer, a murder and so on, if you truly repent in your heart and accept Jesus, YOU WILL BE SAVED..

Dear God in heaven, I come to you in the name of Jesus. I acknowledge to You that I am a sinner, and I am sorry for my sins and the life that I have lived; I need your forgiveness.

I believe that your only begotten Son Jesus Christ shed His precious blood on the cross at Calvary and died for my sins, and I am now willing to turn from my sin.

You said in Your Holy Word, Romans 10:9 that if we confess the Lord our God and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved.

Right now I confess Jesus as the Lord of my soul. With my heart, I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead. This very moment I accept Jesus Christ as my own personal Savior and according to His Word, right now I am saved.

Thank you Jesus for your unlimited grace which has saved me from my sins. I thank you Jesus that your grace never leads to license, but rather it always leads to repentance. Therefore Lord Jesus transform my life so that I may bring glory and honor to you alone and not to myself.
Thank you Jesus for dying for me and giving me eternal life.
Amen.

God bless you and remain forever blessed

(credit: The Faith House Productions (gh))

#Heavenly conscious + Earthly useful  

MIND UNDER SIEGE:

There are so many things i desire to discuss with you regarding the times we live in. I may not be able to meet with you for fellowship frequently but it is important that i point out some of the emerging trends to you, so we would be vigilant and watchful. The Holy writ commands, "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the COURSE OF YOUR LIFE." (Proverbs 4:23, New Living Translation) 

I believe that, "for lack of knowledge people perish." However, I fear not the general 'ignorance' of my generation but the unwholesome 'knowledge' being forced down its throat. When the Bible talks about 'knowledge,' it's not just the intellectual reference to 'information and facts'. It's the lack of 'the knowledge of Truth' of God's will. 'A half baked truth' is not the same as 'knowing in part' (our maturity and the illumination it brings to us) as referred to in 1 Corinthians 13:12. 'A half baked truth' is designed to poison the soul, to unconsciously reprogram you for the path of destruction. It is designed to mislead you and to distract you from the course of truth while it tickles the intellect. It is information coded to lure you to desire more of it.

In our age and generation, the souls of many people would be imprisoned because of the 'knowledge' fed to their souls. It is called indoctrination, propaganda, programming, auto-suggestion of ideas, mind control, brainwashing. It would be enhanced by the itchy ears of its victims, the longing of their pride and their craving for acceptance and importance in society. They will ingratiate towards the 'staged heroes' who love the adulation of men.

I see the multiplicity of 'talk shows', TV and radio shows, fora, conferences, summits, seminars, this meeting here, that meeting there, and I say, "This is it!"

Meetings are of themselves not bad. However, you may want to re-evaluate what you are being taught with a discerning Spirit.
#What are you being indoctrinated with?

‘‘ …I solemnly urge you before God and before Christ Jesus-who will someday judge the living and the dead when he appears to set up his Kingdom- to preach the Word of God urgently at all times, whenever you get the chance, in season and out, when it is convenient and when it is not. CORRECT and REBUKE your people when they need it, ENCOURAGE them to do right, and all the time be feeding them patiently with God's Word. For there is going to come a time when people won't listen to the truth but will go around looking for TEACHERS WHO WILL TELL THEM JUST WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR. THEY WON'T LISTEN TO WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS BUT WILL BLITHELY FOLLOW THEIR OWN MISGUIDED IDEAS. Stand steady, and don't be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Bring others to Christ. Leave nothing undone that you ought to do.’’ [2 Timothy 4:1-5, The Living Bible]

You may not be able to tell and discern the grand agenda to enslave your soul and that of the many Jesus Christ died for, unless you are firmly grounded in the Truth of God's word. The Truth which ultimately serves as your sieve,

"For the word that God speaks is alive and full of power (making it active, operative, energizing, and effective); it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and (the immortal) spirit, and of joints and marrow (of the deepest parts of our nature) exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12, Amplified Bible)

Yeah! Yeah! I know,Perhaps at this point the cynics may say, i am also brainwashing you, right. lol. But which would you rather have. The word of God which aligns your soul (mind, will and emotions) with your spiritual nature after it prunes you or the philosophies of men which cannot INTEGRATE your spirit and soul, leaving you often confused,struggling and destroyed.( At best Philosophies of men cause your spiritual nature and soul to OVERLAP)

#The new creation (Species of men in Christ,2 Corinthians 5:17) needs the word of God to develop the character and mindset consistent with his nature. (Acts 20:32)

#As we remember the love of God and His Grace that reached us through Christ, may we renew our commitment to love and service to Him and Humanity. And more importantly to preserve the Truth and preach it more for the salvation of the souls that Jesus Christ saved.

by 

Eric Kwaku Edem Damanka

# Heavenly conscious + Earthly usefull

Mission Possible

I wake up each day 

with a deeper 

commitment to life. 

I have cultured my 

soul to welcome life 

with its challenges 

and triumphs. I am 

reminded of my need 

to be immersed in 

our times and, to be 

so responsive to the 

challenges that 

come along my path of destiny. I am aware of my human 

limitations and God's omnipotence. For these, I hold Christ 

so dear to heart, and I keep Him at the center of my life 

daily. With Him in the vessel, I smile at the storms. 

In Christ, all things come to rest.#MissionPossible

(credit : Eric Kwaku Edem Damanka,  Collins Afeti Gadawusu)

LET GO

Before i begin i must tell you this. The English language we know now is a derived language, meaning it evolves, in a few 100 yrs it will probably be spoken differently,words will have new meaning and all that. So kindly understand the use of some words i decide to use, else don't just read past this line.


L.O.V.E is a complicated thing, no one person has ever grasped the full meaning of it, except Christ ofcourse. Its not easy to Love someone unconditionally, "this is where the hypocrites go crazy", they go like:

Hypocrite: But Johnny i love people unconditionally, don't i?
Me : Whatever!

I've tried and its not easy. Now with that been said, its even more difficult to love someone who doesn't love you back, that's even worse, i should know, I've been there. "Here the hypocrites go crazy again."

Hypocrite: But Johnny if i show him/her more Love, they'll love me back.
Me : Whatever!

Knowing is more difficult than knowledge, because your knowledge maybe wrong, it's a 50/50 thing. But in knowing, its an undeniable instinct that u are not loved and there's nothing you can do about it.

Some of might have found yourselves in this FORTUNATE state, to know that you are not loved. Thats ok! I recommend that every Person should find themselves in this state at least once in their life, Its an eye opener. Some are also afraid to get to this state, to people in this category i have 3 words for you.

Me : "You need Help"

Lemme give you a remedy of how to love, hypocrites just don't want to accept this. Now the remedy is this:

"Train yourself to LET GO of everything you fear to loose"

Lemme repeat this just in case:

"Train yourself to LET GO of everything you fear to loose"

This is the best known secret known to man, for great accomplishments in every sphere of life. LEARN TO LET GO.

You need to understand that:

Your girlfriend might cheat on you
Your boyfriend might cheat on you
Your husband might try to kill you
Your wife might cheat on you.
*Your beloved Dog might steal your Meat

So what!

In other to truly love and be loved you just need to let your partner go,
NB. I don't mean be heartless

But know that they can let you down and loved them all the same. Never be afraid to let go, Am sure like me your heart has been broken many times. But instead of deciding to kill yourself it can be a lesson for you, you could learn from that experience to love better next time.

Its a hard concept to grasp when your life revolves around a single person who finds it irrelevant. you will find yourself in a good position just by releasing yourself from the fear of letting go

*********************************************************************
**This post is getting to long, so am gonna end with this.**
*********************************************************************

The universe works in strange ways "The moment you stop looking for Utopia, its in that moment you fall into Utopia."

I don't claim to have arrived, like you i too am searching.

#NaturallySpiritual

by Tawiah Dolphyne

purified virginity

A few weeks ago I got a phone call from one of my girlfriends announcing that she got a boyfriend. I asked her what she intended to say to him about how they will protect their purity. She continued to tell that they have already talked about it and that they are “taking things slow,” and he “values” her virginity just as much as she does. This got me to think about two things:

1. What does “taking it slow” mean?
2. What do people think is the difference between “purity” and “virginity”?

Couples all over the world will claim they are “taking it slow” but what does this really even mean? Does it mean the same thing to the both of them? Where do the physical boundaries start and end? Does “taking it slow” mean only kissing? And what kind of kissing? Kissing standing up is totally different and not nearly as stimulating as kissing each other while lying on the couch.

I think when many people today discuss protecting one’s purity, they confuse “purity” with “virginity.” The value is placed on whether or not one is a virgin, not if they have compromised any other part of their body or mind to maintain their virginity.

As a result, in many cases, one is technically physically still a virgin, but has compromised their body, mind, and heart to maintain their physical virginity. Consequently, failing to protect their purity. There is much more to living purely than abstaining from sexual intercourse. Purity is a life style. It is an everyday mode of being. Purity is not a choice. It is an instruction from God.

God created sex as something good. Genesis says He created it for us to enjoy and to reproduce, “to be fruitful and multiply.” This is why He has given us body parts that were specifically made for sexual pleasure and baby making. However, God reserved sexual intimacy for the marriage relationship, and it is approved and blessed by God only in this context. Sexual activity represents a deep and powerful level of intimacy and vulnerability. By God’s intention, the only relationship God designed to thrive on and sustain this level of intimacy, is a godly, devoted marriage between man and woman, husband and wife.

All physical intimacy between man and woman was created by God. Physical intimacy (holding hands, touching, sex, etc) is natural. Of course, it feels good. It is natural for a man and woman to want to further explore the nakedness of one another. It is natural to be stimulated or aroused by the sights, sounds, touch, or even smells of one another. I believe this is why it is so hard to live purely, because it is a constant fight against our flesh, of what is natural. However, we have to remember that purity is a sacred gift from God.

“Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun. And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And has given us this task of reconcilingpeople to him.”

(2 Corinthians 5:17-18)

When we surrender our hearts to Jesus we share in his glory with a renewed knowledge of God, a transformed way of thinking and behaving that begins to reflect God’s purity, His holiness, His spiritual wholeness.

So, what is the truth about sex and purity? God created sex; therefore, it is natural, but God gifted purity. Therefore, it is supernatural. The only reason we are called virgins is because we have not had sex, thus we have not progressed in the natural timeline of humanity. The only reason we call ourselves pure is because God called us pure. The definition of purity is to be morally clean without blemish. The only way we are morally clean without blemish is because of the blood of Jesus. Through Jesus’ perfect sacrifice on the Cross He calls us pure. Impurity is something that is unacceptable to God. Therefore, by logic, purity could be defined as something is acceptable to God.

So then, are you pure if you have never had sex? Not if you’ve been cheating the system in other ways. If purity was only based on sex, then after I got married I would no longer have to strive for a life of purity.

Sexual abstinence is good, but your purity is NOT defined by your abstinence. It goes all the way back to the heart of the matter. Before you were kissing, before you were holding hands, before you were flirting – What were your intentions? What were you thinking about? What was your flesh saying? What were your desires?

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I never understood the value of my purity until I freely gave it away.

I compromised my body, my mind, and heart because I was more concerned about how it felt and what my boyfriend at the time would think of me if I said no. I always grew up with the desire that I would wait until my wedding night to have sex. After college, I started dating a man in my church. We never really discussed boundaries…I mean, why would we? He was a Christian. I was a Christian. No worries there, right? (Newsflash: Christians aren’t immune to temptation!) Discussing physical boundaries never took place until the heat of the moment when we potentially crossed lines. The temptation to further explore one another’s bodies was constant and the pressure was great.

In my mind, I always thought I would never do more than kissing before marriage. Just like all temptations, when we flirt with it for so long, it is only a matter of time before you do something you never thought you would do. I let him touch me in places that belonged to my husband. Lies of the Enemy bombarded my mind. I became more concerned with the question, “How far is too far?” rather than understanding what God meant by purity. We Christians love the already defeated game of, “How much can I get away with and still be a Christian?”

I was alone, ashamed and had no one to talk to. I was so confused because I still had my virginity. I grew up in the church and so many of the teachings on purity was about being a virgin for your husband. So, why was I so consumed with the shame and disappointment as if I had had sex? Even though I maintained my virginity, I gave away my purity. It was clear to me that my actions in that moment were not acceptable to God’s standards. When I chose to be impure, I butchered the gift of purity in which Jesus died for. I realized that if I did not value my purity, a gift God gave me, then did I really value what Jesus did for me on the Cross?

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I learned a lot about the difference between purity and virginity during this season of my life. Purity is a way life, and my virginity is something I give. What mattered, was what I chose to do with what I now knew about the value of my purity.

I wondered a lot how my future husband and I would protect our purity before marriage, and if I really had the strength to fight it. This was when the Lord began challenging me with the idea to not kiss my boyfriend until he was committed to me enough to be my husband.

My first response to the Lord was, “Absolutely not. What kind of man would even want to be with me once I told him we cannot kiss?”

Then God said to me, “Danielle, are you willing? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to protect your purity, the purity of your future husband, and your purity as one?”

So I chose to take a huge leap of faith – I decided to wait until I was engaged to kiss my husband. (Let’s get things clear here before you go jumping to conclusions - I’m not saying kissing is a sin or that everyone has to wait until marriage. I’m simply telling you my story and how God chose to challenge me to trust Him more.) I made this commitment before my husband and I were even dating. The funny thing is that God was already dealing with my husband about waiting to kiss his future bride. When Rony and I chose to not kiss, God introduced us to so many new avenues of romance that I never knew even existed. It truly awakened something special.

The choice to protect my purity, a gift that God gave me, began in my mind and in my heart first. Sometimes we have to get to a point where we are willing to do whatever it takes to keep us from compromising.

So, I would ask you – Are you willing to do whatever it takes? Are you willing to destroy any DVDs, magazines, websites, etc. that keeps you tempted to pornography and hurts your marriage, or lack there of? Are you willing to stop talking to someone who continually causes you to lust? Are you willing to set physical boundaries with the person you are with, even though the world would say it is not normal?

Are you even willing to pray and listen to what God has to say to you about it or are you too afraid to even go there with Him??

Sometimes we must be willing to do whatever it takes to protect ourselves from falling into the sins of our biggest temptations. Purity is now!

-Danielle Renfrow